Posted on Kripalu Blog February 22nd, 2014 by Aruni Nan Futuronsky, Life Coach, RYT in Words from the Wise
Like many of us, after
dinner and before bedtime is the part of the day in which I might find myself
hungry—not necessarily physically hungry, but wanting something to fill me up.
As I trolled around my
kitchen one night, some years ago, an extraordinary thing happened. I noticed
that my hand was reaching, as in an out-of-body experience, toward the cabinet!
It was a startling moment of self- observation. I was able to stop, arm in
midair, and ask myself that $64,000 question: “What am I really hungryfor?”
This stopped me in my
tracks. I realized there was nothing in that cabinet, nothing in the house,
actually nothing on the planet, food-wise, that I was hungry for. Standing in
my darkened kitchen, I realized that my hunger came from something else: I was
lonely and perhaps a little anxious about the big work week looming. My
feelings had nothing to do with a physical hunger.
Awed, I walked out of
the kitchen. I picked up the phone and called a friend—nobody answered, but I
left a message. I headed toward the bathtub, soaked for a bit, then got into
bed and read. As I reached to turn out my light an hour or so later, I
recognized the miracle: I had outlived the craving.
Because I didn’t act on
it, because I didn’t feed it, the feeling integrated. It released and
changed. Because I didn’t kill the messenger by stuffing it down with a
bowlful of chips, the messenger was there to tell me to slow down, connect with
someone, and be with myself. And by substituting the habitual snacking with the
phone call, the bath, and the reading, the feeling changed.
In the Kripalu model of
riding the waves of sensation, the feelings are not the problem. The feelings
don’t hurt us. It’s what we do to try to control the feelings, to change the
feelings, to push the feelings away—this is the problem. The feelings are
“coming to pass,” as the Bible says; they are not coming to stay. If we allow
ourselves to soften around the feelings, just as we do on the yoga mat, using
the breath and relaxation mindfully, the feelings will integrate.
For those of us
challenged with habitual snacking patterns, riding the waves of feelings
carries us to the freedom of new choices. Neuroscience encourages us with
research about the plasticity of the brain—the brain’s capacity to re-create
its response to the moment by creating new neuropathways. Yoga on and off the
mat gives us that leverage to change. “Self-observation without judgment,”
Swami Kripalu’s core teaching, forms the foundation of our mindful model of transformation: Notice. Relax. Realign.
Consider some
substitutions. What might you do when you feel pulled toward your cabinet?
Consider some ideas: Might you take a bath? Do some journaling? Call a support
person? Go for a walk? Hug a cat? Practice putting these substitutions in place
when you feel the strong pull of your habit patterns carrying you forward.
Remember—you have the final
decision. How do you choose to be in your moment?
